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Tell Somebody: How to Get Over the Fear of Travel

I was walking along the Regent’s Canal this weekend as a new resident of Islington in London and wondering how I got here.  Not, mind you, in a negative way.  Not like those who – ball-gag in their mouth and gun to their head – wonder “How did I get here?”   Rather, I was wondering in the happy, positive way of someone who is enjoying themselves at a really fancy party with exciting people.

One year ago in February of 2008, I was living in Toronto with little idea that I would be an ex-patriot Canadian by June.  I would say that life moves in mysterious ways, but in reality there is no mystery to it.  I chose to move, and did move, and now I am an immigrant to a new country, finally living my dream to live abroad.

The question some of you might be asking is how I did it, because it can seem like one of the scariest concepts ever.  How do you take that step and travel, when it can seem so daunting?

If you ever read the travel forums I do, you’ll have come across the question many times.  “I want to go travelling, but I am scared. I don’t know that I can do it?  How will I know if I will be okay? How can I quit my job?  How can I tell my friends, my family and my significant other?”

Despite the fact I have no statistical analysis to back this up, I am sure that some version of that question is the third most asked question on travel forums, behind only #2 – “I have a Gross Bodily Harm judgement against me in the UK, do I need a visa to travel to the USA?” and #1 – “I am taking a gap year and would like to travel South East Asia, what should I see?”

(Though not the purpose of this article, the answer to those questions, by the way is – #2 – “what do I look like, the US High Commission to the UK?” and #1 – “There is nothing to see in SEA, have you thought about Disneyland Paris?”)

I really felt like I needed a break from my life, a real chance to get away. A long trip backpacking seemed like the perfect remedy.

To answer the question of how to take that first step and work up the courage to travel, let’s look back at two events in my life that occurred right before I undertook travelling.

Back in 2002, I wasn’t happy.  I was burnt out from work, emotionally drained from the destruction of two relationships and still reeling from the death of my mother.  I really felt like I needed a break from my life, a real chance to get away.  A long trip backpacking seemed like the perfect remedy.  I felt like throwing on a backpack and travelling around South America would help me figure out what I should do with my life.

I was scared, though.  I had never really travelled abroad other than a couple package holidays to sun destinations in the Caribbean.  I didn’t speak Spanish.  I had never slept in a hostel.  Heck, I didn’t even own a backpack.  I had a good job, lots of friends, and a family that loved me.  I was sure that my job would say no, my family would be crushed and my friends would think I was crazy.  How do I even start?

I decided to do some investigation, ask around about long term travel. It is a good way to feel like you are doing something without committing to anything.  One of the things that I did was ask my boss about a program my company had – the unpaid sabbatical.

“I was thinking, maybe, about taking a sabbatical at the end of the year,” I said to my boss.  “If I wanted to do that, and I am not sure that I will, but if I wanted to, what would be required.”

“You would need my approval,” my boss, Dwayne, said.  “That shouldn’t be a problem.  Then we’d put in a request to HR for the dates, and that is about it.”

“Oh, okay.  Seems simple,” I said.  “Let me think about it, because I am not sure I want to, but maybe I will.  Maybe I won’t, though.  I haven’t decided yet.”

I wasn’t sure what I would do.  I thought it over, and felt like I wanted to do it, but all the possible negatives weighed on my mind. It’d stall my career.  I’d lose all my friends.  My family would be disappointed.  All the negatives kept weighing on me.  In reality, it was much easier to do nothing – stay at my job in Toronto, then to take the sabbatical.

At the next team meeting, though, things changed.

“Greg has made a decision and has something very exciting to tell everyone,” my boss Dwayne said.

Despite not having made the decision, and really actually becoming more and more convinced not to take the time off to travel, I suddenly found myself having to announce something to my team-mates.  What could I do but say something?

“I have decided to take 3 months off and travel South America,” I said.

That was it.  Despite all my reservations, I was now committed.  All my co-workers had heard what I said.  To do anything now but take the sabbatical would look like a failure. Afraid of looking like the kind of person who was afraid, I could only do one thing.

That’s how I found myself on an airplane to Santiago on January 13th, 2003.

Sometimes I need a little push to take that step and make the big change. In those cases, nothing quite ensures that I will take the steps than a little external pressure from those who know me.

Not only was my work happy to let me take the sabbatical, but I was surprised by the positive response from my friends and family as I let them know what I was planning. Everyone was very excited about what I was planning, and very supportive of my decision.  “I’m so jealous,” they would say.  “I have a friend who was down in Chile a few years
ago.  Let me get in contact with them and see what they suggest you see!”  Not at all the devastation and negativity I had been expecting.

The same thing happened again in 2008 when I mentioned in passing to a friend that I was thinking of moving to the United Kingdom to try and
live abroad.

A few days later I got a call from a shared friend of ours.  “So, I hear you are moving to London,” he said.

What could I say?  If I said anything but yes, I would look like I was indecisive.  I could only say one thing.

“Yup, moving to London in the summer,” I said.  After the conversation, I hung up the phone and booked an appointment with the UK High Commission to sort out a visa.

Now, I am no push over.  I don’t automatically do things just because my friends think I am going to do them.

Sometimes, though, I need a little push to take that step and make the big change.  In those cases, nothing quite ensures that I will take the steps than a little external pressure from those who know me.

If you are reading this, thinking of taking a trip but are scared about travelling out of your comfort zone, here is my advice.

Tell someone what you are thinking of doing.  If you are like me, you’ll not want to disappoint those who know you.  I think you’ll find that they are supportive of your choice, and they’ll probably put a little pressure on you to make sure you go.

So, go on.

Tell somebody.

Subscribe to TravelBlogs Posted by Greg from Greg Wesson's Esoteric Globe. on February 26th, 2009 in Articles.
Tags: fear of travel