© Gretchen Wilson-Kalav for TravelBlogs, 2009. | True Nomads | No comment |
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Post tags: couples, couples on the road, Saipan

© Gretchen Wilson-Kalav for TravelBlogs, 2009. | The Backpack Foodie | No comment |
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Post tags: Africa, Asia, couples, couples on the road, Indonesia, Japan, Middle East

© Gretchen Wilson-Kalav for TravelBlogs, 2009. | Another F***ing Travel Blog | 3 comments |
Post categories: Blogs
Post tags: Asia, China, couples, couples on the road, India, Nepal, Round the world

Zebras. Photo by Hayden Carlyon.

As a couple that has been traveling together for over 10 years, we have certainly mastered the art of negotiation. We can’t both love the same things all of the time in life.  But if you take a chance and actually try something that your partner wants to do – even if you don’t want to – you may discover that you like it.

Chances are, you fell in love with each other because you admire your spouse’s qualities.  Compatible couples tend to compliment each other’s personalities and bring out the best in one another. The same is true for activities: If your partner likes something and you are willing to give it a try, it will most likely bring out a love for a new hobby or adventure that you didn’t even know was inside of you.

You have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone for each other to truly enjoy traveling for long periods of time together.

When we first started traveling, I didn’t want to spend all of my time trekking through the jungle. Dave, on the other hand, didn’t want to spend all of his time shopping at the local market. But through our travels, we learned to plan and discuss what each person wants to do, and then we compromise: “I will do this if you will do that.”  In other words, we learned the art of negotiation.

Now, after several years of being on the road together, we both love it all.  I can’t wait to climb my next mountain, and Dave loves making a perfect deal while bartering in the markets.

Have an Open Mind

The key is to have an open mind.  It won’t work if you automatically shoot down each other’s ideas.  That will only put a strain on the relationship and you may end up never traveling together again.  You have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone for each other to truly enjoy traveling for long periods of time together.

But as long as each of you is willing to give and take, traveling as a couple can be the most fulfilling experience of your life. 

When we were in Bali, Dave really wanted to climb Gunung Batur, an active volcano. For some reason, I was terribly afraid of the unpredictability of being on a mountain that could explode, and didn’t want to go.  He said that if at any point I was uncomfortable, we would stop, turn around and go back together – but that I should at least give it a try.  I ended up loving it and would have really missed out if I didn’t go. 

Communication is Critical

Communication and understanding is important however.  Dave could have said: “Fine I will go without you”. And I could easily have stayed in town.  But by talking it out and keeping our goal of experiencing life as a couple, we both ended up having an incredible time that strengthened our relationship.

After our climb up the volcano, we went to the spa together the next day and had a massage and hot floral bath.  I negotiated with Dave that if I did something that he really wanted to do, then he should do something that I really like. Even if it was something completely out of character.  He ended up loving the pampering and he felt great afterwards.

That is the great thing is about traveling with the opposite sex.  We are made up completely different from one another.  To travel with someone that has your exact interests would be boring.  You wouldn’t be inspired to try anything new.

By keeping our minds open to each other’s suggestions, we end up exploring things that we never would have tried in the first place. And we end up liking things that we never thought possible.

Travel can profoundly change a person, and to have the chance to change and grow with your spouse, can only strengthen the relationship and create an unshakable bond that will last forever. 

© Gretchen Wilson-Kalav for TravelBlogs, 2009. | Negotiation: The Art of Traveling with Your Loved One | 20 comments |
Post categories: Articles
Post tags: couples, couples on the road, negotiation, travelling with someone

Travelling alone has its advantages, of course. If you’re looking for maximum freedom to go where you desire, when you desire and in whatever way you desire, solo travel might be the right thing for you. But for many people, having someone along for the ride is indispensable.

Over the next few weeks, we’ll look a little at the How of travelling with someone: How to not kill your travel partner, How to negotiate with each other, etc. But today, we’re focusing on the Why. Check out why these travellers think travel is better when you have someone to share it with.

Bessie Crum from On Our Own Path

The “Man Forcefield” is a blessing for the solo female traveler.

The times I’d head out walking alone in the streets of San Salvador or Buenos Aires, I was greeted with whistles and cries of “mamacita, you’re the blood pumping through my veins.”  As I pondered the oddness of this compliment, I could laugh to myself about it, but of course there’s a limit to hearing this local form of flattery.

The journey is better when you have someone to share it with, because you get to be yourself and share yourself.

Walking with my husband however, I never got this sort of attention. He was like my forcefield from all male attention: no one seemed to notice me.  Why?  A guy (generally) won’t mess with another guy’s lady.  I remember back to earlier trips as a solo female traveler and was grateful that I usually had my husband by my side deflecting the male gaze.

Ant Stone from Trail of Ants

She’s my pillow. She’s my photographer. She’s my driver. She’s a neutral. She’s an excuse. She’s a reason. She’s my guidebook. She’s my security guard. She’s my bank. She’s my cook. She’s my alarm clock. She’s my view point. She’s my medicine. She’s my buckle. She’s my stranger. She’s my friend. She’s my watch. She’s my translator. She’s my pen. She’s my temple. She’s my dawn. She’s my vice. She’s my reassurance. She’s my adventure. She’s my muse. She’s my present day. She’s my plaster. She’s my drinking partner. She’s everything everyone else has written, and I find it impossible to find the words to describe what sharing this journey with her is like.

Solo travel also contains these things, but in a more wholesome and real manner. The journey is better when you have someone to share it with, because you get to be yourself and share yourself. Give a little, take a little. For me, that’s what travel is all about. For the record; She’s not the cat’s mother, she’s Reb and I met her in SW China while enjoying a sensational solo journey.

Dave and Deb from Canada’s Adventure Couple

To share a moment with someone when traveling is like no other. Enjoying that perfect sunset, catching a glimpse of a rare site or experiencing another culture is enhanced when you can share your excitement, laughter and opinions with someone.  Better yet, you can re-live the experience once you come home for years to come.

Having someone to share the journey with, keeps you from ever getting lonely.   At the end of the day when the excitement is still brewing you have a sounding board that can relate to everything you say.   You have someone by your side that cares about your opinion and what you’re talking about.  Not some stranger that is just waiting for you to finish speaking so that they can tell you about their latest adventure.

If you are afraid to try something, you may be more willing to give it a try if you have a partner beside you to give you courage.  When you are not feeling well, you have your loved one there to take care of you and give you the sympathy that you need, and when you are at the top of your game, you have that voice cheering you on.

Traveling together offers you two different outlooks on one destination making the experience richer in the end.

What about you? Do you think travelling with someone is better than going it alone?

© Gretchen Wilson-Kalav for TravelBlogs, 2009. | Why the Journey is Better When You Have Someone to Share it With | 16 comments |
Post categories: Articles
Post tags: couples on the road, romantic travel, travelling with someone

© Gretchen Wilson-Kalav for TravelBlogs, 2009. | Yann & Emilie | No comment |
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Post tags: Asia, couples, couples on the road, overland travel, photography, travel photography

© Gretchen Wilson-Kalav for TravelBlogs, 2009. | Canada’s Adventure Couple | 4 comments |
Post categories: Blogs
Post tags: adventure travel, couples, couples on the road